EFF YOUR BEAUTY STANDARDS

Hey Guys,

With Tess Holliday (also known as Tess Munster), being on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine this week, I feel like there no better topic to discuss right now than that of beauty standards. If you haven’t read this article in October 2018’s issue of Cosmopolitan, then I urge you to grab yourself a copy – it’s well worth a read! Spread the message to your friends, and discover that the secret to surviving in a tough world is by being even tougher yourself.

What really concerns me about the world we live in, is the back lash that Tess has received as a result of this cover shoot. She has been accused by the media of promoting obesity, which on reading the article, is the complete opposite of what she attempting to promote. Her message is not ‘let’s all be fat’, which is what Piers Morgan claims she trying to promote, her message is ‘let’s love yourself, regardless of how you look in your current body’. Piers Morgan is renowned for his judgmental opinions, and I know he is journalist and is just doing his job, but in my eyes - he is coming across as a bully and a hateful person.

Tess Holliday is an American plus sized model, and she created the #Effyourbeautystandards campaign because she was tired of being told what she could and couldn’t wear – predominantly by the media. Tess was consistently receiving negative comments, advising her that she should cover her body because of her size. Consequently, she decided “eff that, I will wear what I want”. Tess went on to create an Instagram account for #Effyourbeautystandards and invited lots of women to share selfies/full body photos of themselves in the name of love. At time of writing this post, this page currently has 399k followers and is full of beautiful women showing that they are body confident and all beautiful in their own way. Tess’ message is all about encouraging you to love your body, regardless of your size, and will encourage you to chase your dreams. On Instagram the #Effyourbeautystands has been used by people over 3.2 Million times, with the count still rising daily.

I personally know what it’s like to be told you shouldn’t wear this or that...that doesn’t suit you...you should cover that up…and other such negative, body shaming comments. Comments like that really used to get me down, and make me feel uncomfortable in my skin, but NOT anymore! I attribute most of my new-found body confidence to social media and the amazing women I have chosen to follow - I have watched there self-love journeys and watched them grow from someone who is full of doubts and insecurities, into someone who fully loves themselves, their skin and their shape. They have grown to love themselves exactly for who they are, and that is exactly how we should all be.

We all have scars, stretch marks, cellulite, flaws and many other imperfections. However they are only imperfections if you let them be – more often than not these so-called ‘imperfections’ are what makes us unique and individual and are all part of our story.  They should be celebrated! What makes someone truly beautiful, is being fully confident and positive about their own bodies. It’s also not just us women that struggle with our insecurities, men do too, and they can have almost all the same insecurities that us women have. And this should be recognised equally.

When I started my self-love journey, I used to stand in the mirror and think to myself, “why can’t I see my own body in the same way that I see other people’s bodies?”. In my head, I had created a standard for myself - which was clearly a unhealthy way of thinking and bad for my state of mind. I hated being overweight, I hated my stretch marks, I used to hate going out with my friends - in my head, I always told myself I am the fat one, the one that can’t go on shopping trips with them because I will never get anything to fit me. This was really destructive for my confidence and wellbeing. I was starting to neglect my friendships because of my insecurities, and I knew it had to stop.

In order to change the way I was thinking, and move things forward I did the following:

 

1- I found purpose – I started seeking out those body positive people on social media, and followed their journeys. I looked at the people I have around me, and realised they loved me regardless. I am very lucky to have such a loving, supportive network of family and friends.

 

2- Find what makes you confident- This ties in with the above for me - surround yourself with confident, loving people and that will inevitably rubs off on you. It’s quite simple when you think about it, if you put yourself in a positive position and embrace some self-love. Don’t be afraid to say no to something that you know makes you miserable!

 

3- Find something that inspire you- I have been inspired by so many plus size and body positive bloggers of late - they really do inspire me. I have been able to connect with them, and they have helped me grow and love myself. These are the exact qualities we will need in order to nurture our own lives.

 

4- Make promises to yourself and keep them- honour your own word - allow yourself to have that holiday/break if you have promised it to yourself. One thing I would suggest is to get an ‘accountability friend’, by this I mean find someone you can share said promises with, and then check in with each other to ensure you are keeping those promises. It’s so easy to neglect self-care, but self-care is so important.

 

5- Celebrate yourself- I love all girly things - hair, makeup, fashion etc. I treat these things as a personal act of celebrating my femininity. I celebrate the fact that I am blessed with the best family, and amazing friends. I celebrate the fact that I have my health. These things are all that matters to me.  

6- Don’t ever think you have more time- Act NOW, take it slowly but please don’t put it off. You only have one life, and tomorrow is never promised. Everyone has the right to feel empowered in their own body.

Fashion is something that I love - I love to follow all the latest trends, I love to try and be different and I like to have that individuality. Until recently, it has been very difficult as a plus sized woman to achieve this. All the high-street retailer’s rarely stocked anything in sizes above the UK 18 or 20, which was always a problem for me. Shops such as Newlook, River Island, Primark, Miss Guided, Matalan, M&S, Debinhams, Topsy Curvsy, Lovedrobe, Yours Clothing are now stocking larger sizes. They are constantly working on expanding their ranges to accommodate the plus sized lady. Most of them are currently introducing they’re autumn ranges, and I urge to go take a look. I would particularly recommend that you check out the River Island range, as they have introduced some beautiful dresses in some lovely autumn colours. Having the option to go shopping on the high-street, instead of ordering online, is something massive for me and I love that the fashion world is becoming more adaptable to people of all shapes and sizes.

If anyone would like any recommendations of people to follow, or websites etc that offer support, I have so many directions I can point you in. As well as giving you tips myself, I am a very open person, so anything you ask I will answer honestly. Please feel free to get in touch by any of the forms of communication below. I really love hearing from you guys, and love hearing your own personal stories, so please do send them in!

Instagram- Perks_of_being_laura

Email- Perksofbeinglaura01@gmail.com

Facebook page- @01PerksofLaura

If you take anything from reading this blog, please do follow and support the Eff your beauty standards Instagram page and Facebook page. You can also follow the #Effyourbeautystandards Hash Tag on Instagram - here you will find lots of women promoting their body positivity.

Thank you for reading my blog you wonderful people, and I look forward to hearing from you

Thank you,

 

Laura

xx